What is it like having kids so far apart in age?
Believe it or not this is a question I am asked a lot. My kids are 7 years apart in age. My son is currently 8 and my daughter is 1. Friends, family, and even strangers have asked or commented about the age gap of my kids, so I thought I would talk about it more here today.
Pros and Cons of a Seven Year Age Gap
I’m sure there are many reasons that families have children that are far apart in age. Let me start off by saying this wasn’t something that we had planned. I had actually wanted to have children closer in age, but because of infertility issues I wasn’t able to have my daughter as soon as I had wanted.
Having children 7 years apart in age turned out to be quite a beautiful thing. Something that in my eyes has way more pros than cons.
To be honest having a child this far apart in age kind of made me nervous at first. I felt like there was some sort of unspoken expectation that you have all your kids in a certain time period. I had friends who had already had 3-4 babies and felt like the time for me was out, but boy was I wrong.
For those of you that are wondering if the age gap between your kids will be too big or just curious, I just wanted to share a little piece of what my life is like with the 7 year age gap.
Pros of a Seven Year Age Gap
- Love is all that Matters- My kids LOVE each other so much, true sibling love. They have such a special bond that really started from day one. Jonas, the older brother, is always concerned for his sister. When she is sick or gets hurt he is usually the first one to spring into action. Juliana, little sister, loves going to pick her brother up from school and cries tears when he leaves. No matter what the age gap is, if there is love there that is really all that matters!
- A Helping Hand- Having an older sibling around has it’s benefits when you have a baby or toddler. I can’t imagine what it would be like having two children under two years old, that’s for sure. My older son is such a help to me. I by no means depend on him for anything. But, he loves to help out with his sister. Especially when she was a newborn it was nice having an extra little helper to grab a diaper and keep me company at newborn doctors check-ups.
- Finding Similarities- It’s so interesting that despite a large age gap siblings can still find things in common. Even though they are 7 years apart both my kids have so many similarities. This week they bonded over their love of Moana. They both ask to watch the movie daily and sing the songs together out loud, so cute! I can’t wait to see their bond grow through similarities and differences as they get older.
- A Protector- With a much older child, we definitely have another protector over our sweet little girl. Her brother is very protective when it comes to holding hands when crossing the street and cousins that don’t like to share. Coming to her defense at every turn. I’m sure that sense of protectiveness will stay as they grow.
- Valuable Lessons– Your little one will definitely be learning much more quickly with an older and wiser sibling around. Our toddler Juliana has picked up speech very fast. She learns a lot from watching and copying her older brother. Likewise she teaches him about patience and empathy, very important lessons!
- Devoted Time- Having my children so far apart in age has definitely let me have more one on one devoted time with each of them. My toddler gets all of my attention while her brother is at school. Likewise her brother gets time with his parents at night after she is in bed. We will stay up with him to read or have a family game/movie night!
- Sacrifices- The biggest con about having kids at a large age gap to me is sacrifices. Of course, we all make sacrifices for the ones we love. However, I can’t help but feel bad about some of the sacrifices my older son has to make for Juliana, his little sister. One of those sacrifices is building LEGO’s, it may sound silly, but he absolutely can’t build LEGO’s in a main living area of our home. His sister will find a way to get them, no matter how high, and either put them in her mouth or destroy his creation.
- The Unexpected- I don’t see this happening, we are a pretty close family. But, I guess one fear is that my children will grow apart later in life because their age is so far apart. My daughter will still be in elementary school by the time my son is 18 years old, something I don’t even want to think about right now.
If you are hesitant about a large age gap because of naysayers or doubts, take comfort! Having children 7 years apart has been a wonderful, beautiful journey for me so far.
I love that I can watch them grow and learn together. The things they teach each and me about love and patience is something that can’t be replaced. No, I wouldn’t change my mind about having kids 7 years apart for any naysayer in the world.
I’m not done having kids just yet, who knows if my next one will be some time from now or sooner. I do know that whatever the age difference there is plenty to look forward to.
Do you have children with a large age gap? What has your experience been?
What worries do you have about having children far apart in age? I would love to hear from you in the comments below!
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