Pros and Cons of a Seven Year Age Gap Between Siblings
What is it like having kids so far apart in age?
Believe it or not this is a question I am asked a lot. My kids are 7 years apart in age. My son is currently 8 and my daughter is 1. Friends, family, and even strangers have asked or commented about the age gap of my kids, so I thought I would talk about it more here today.
Pros and Cons of a Seven Year Age Gap
I’m sure there are many reasons that families have children that are far apart in age. Let me start off by saying this wasn’t something that we had planned. I had actually wanted to have children closer in age, but because of infertility issues I wasn’t able to have my daughter as soon as I had wanted.
Having children 7 years apart in age turned out to be quite a beautiful thing. Something that in my eyes has way more pros than cons.
To be honest having a child this far apart in age kind of made me nervous at first. I felt like there was some sort of unspoken expectation that you have all your kids in a certain time period. I had friends who had already had 3-4 babies and felt like the time for me was out, but boy was I wrong.
For those of you that are wondering if the age gap between your kids will be too big or just curious, I just wanted to share a little piece of what my life is like with the 7 year age gap.
Pros of a Seven Year Age Gap
Love is all that Matters- My kids LOVE each other so much, true sibling love. They have such a special bond that really started from day one. Jonas, the older brother, is always concerned for his sister. When she is sick or gets hurt he is usually the first one to spring into action. Juliana, little sister, loves going to pick her brother up from school and cries tears when he leaves. No matter what the age gap is, if there is love there that is really all that matters!
A Helping Hand- Having an older sibling around has it’s benefits when you have a baby or toddler. I can’t imagine what it would be like having two children under two years old, that’s for sure. My older son is such a help to me. I by no means depend on him for anything. But, he loves to help out with his sister. Especially when she was a newborn it was nice having an extra little helper to grab a diaper and keep me company at newborn doctors check-ups.
Finding Similarities- It’s so interesting that despite a large age gap siblings can still find things in common. Even though they are 7 years apart both my kids have so many similarities. This week they bonded over their love of Moana. They both ask to watch the movie daily and sing the songs together out loud, so cute! I can’t wait to see their bond grow through similarities and differences as they get older.
A Protector- With a much older child, we definitely have another protector over our sweet little girl. Her brother is very protective when it comes to holding hands when crossing the street and cousins that don’t like to share. Coming to her defense at every turn. I’m sure that sense of protectiveness will stay as they grow.
Valuable Lessons– Your little one will definitely be learning much more quickly with an older and wiser sibling around. Our toddler Juliana has picked up speech very fast. She learns a lot from watching and copying her older brother. Likewise she teaches him about patience and empathy, very important lessons!
Devoted Time- Having my children so far apart in age has definitely let me have more one on one devoted time with each of them. My toddler gets all of my attention while her brother is at school. Likewise her brother gets time with his parents at night after she is in bed. We will stay up with him to read or have a family game/movie night!
Cons
Sacrifices- The biggest con about having kids at a large age gap to me is sacrifices. Of course, we all make sacrifices for the ones we love. However, I can’t help but feel bad about some of the sacrifices my older son has to make for Juliana, his little sister. One of those sacrifices is building LEGO’s, it may sound silly, but he absolutely can’t build LEGO’s in a main living area of our home. His sister will find a way to get them, no matter how high, and either put them in her mouth or destroy his creation.
The Unexpected- I don’t see this happening, we are a pretty close family. But, I guess one fear is that my children will grow apart later in life because their age is so far apart. My daughter will still be in elementary school by the time my son is 18 years old, something I don’t even want to think about right now.
If you are hesitant about a large age gap because of naysayers or doubts, take comfort! Having children 7 years apart has been a wonderful, beautiful journey for me so far.
I love that I can watch them grow and learn together. The things they teach each and me about love and patience is something that can’t be replaced. No, I wouldn’t change my mind about having kids 7 years apart for any naysayer in the world.
I’m not done having kids just yet, who knows if my next one will be some time from now or sooner. I do know that whatever the age difference there is plenty to look forward to.
Do you have children with a large age gap? What has your experience been?
What worries do you have about having children far apart in age? I would love to hear from you in the comments below!
Hi Terri! Just make sure you are planning one on one time with both so the jealousy won't be an issue. I'm sure there are exceptions but the relationship my 14 year old has with his 5 and 8 year old siblings is a beautiful thing to watch. He does need his own time, sure, but he also takes time to play games with them, he helps out a lot with the littles keeping them entertained and loves reliving his childhood favorites with them introducing them to books and cartoons he loved when he was little.
It's interesting seeing people here say that they have a great relationship with their 10+ year gap sibling when I've always observed and experienced the opposite. My brother (11 year gap) and I are practically strangers. We never really bonded. We never had anything in common. Even though we now have a lot in common as adults, he never bothers to talk to me. He just isn't interested in being my brother, sadly. I never played with him because he was bratty and demanding. I was still too immature to have patience with him. Anyways I keep hearing that the 6-7 year gap works like a charm, so you should be fine.
Yes I was almost they same way my older brother and me where never that close when I was younger I always wanted to play with him and his friends and I was probably considered the unwanted tag a long lol. When I got older we had a little more of a relationship where we could talk more but it never stuck over time. I wondering if has anything to do with older siblings personality, I feel like more introverted people have less of a closeness when farther apart in age because the other cases where the brother would be really protective so who knows.
Hi Lily! I'm sure there are different experiences and I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out with your brother. I too have some family members that are difficult to communicate with. However, I think that may be reflective of things they have to work through. Hopefully he will mature in the future so you can have that family relationship.
Hi Sammy,
Thanks very much for sharing extensively your experience with your widely-spaced children. I’ve got two with six years in between. Just like you, I didn’t have a master plan at the start and by the time we were set for a second, it just didn’t happen out so we had to patiently wait for about three years.
Yes, I do get the weird questions about whether it was a choice or we had difficulty conceiving. The uncalled for comments about the children being unable to play together. They DO play together, everyday. While I understand why these come up, I think people somehow ought to realise that not everyone’s life, or in this case, family design would fit into the “societal norm.” I’ve spent a long time wondering why parents who’ve got a seemingly wide gap between their children struggle with the thoughts of their being part of each other’s lives. Of course they will. They’ll always, always have each other no matter what. They’re first individuals, then siblings.
I am the second of four girls. Growing up, my parents decided to go their separate ways at some point and painfully split up the kids too. Two on each side. While there wasn’t a wide age gap between each child, we were physically and emotionally separated for many years! By the time we reunited, all we did was cry. We barely knew each other. Before we knew it, we’d all grown into adults, chosen very different career paths and generally charted our individual courses in life. I chose to use this as an example because I feel someone out there needs to be heavily encouraged that it’s okay to have children spaced out as long as they have all the love from their parents. Shower them with love and let them see how special their brother or sister is. They mustn’t do everything together, attend school together to feel that love, must they? Having them close in age is cool, but if it doesn’t happen that way, would you rather go through life worrying/regretting rather than simply enjoying the uniqueness of each child’s presence?
I really did enjoy spending loads of time with my daughter (the first) while she was a toddler and still do now that she’s seven. I enjoy being an integral part of her life and I love that our home is open to other families too. She spends loads of time amongst kids her age when we organise play dates. That’s something parents can seriously consider. Do it together with other families haha. My son is almost two and I’ve loved how that we’ve been able to invest so much time and attention in him as well. I’d insert another example here. I grew up with the constant pressure of being expected to fit into my elder sister’s shoes. She’s only a year older than me. My mum would inadvertently expect me to be like her in many, no, every way, receive her used and mostly tired clothes and shoes, toys and even her car. I hardly got any new stuff of my own until I was old enough to save up money and actually buy for myself. It was a little difficult identifying who I really was outside of my elder sister’s shadow. No mistake, I love her so very much but these were the realities I had.
Summarily, every child, every family is unique. I believe we raise our unique children to grow up to be independent of us someday. They will also be independent of their siblings, as they choose their spouses and carve out lives for themselves but they will always, always have those siblings no matter how much older or younger they are. Dear parents, please enjoy the ride. Don’t waste any time nurturing the shoulda woulda coulda feelings. Perhaps the decision was or wasn’t really yours to make. It’s okay. Some children have no siblings at all, and shouldn’t be made to feel disadvantaged in my opinion. We can always encourage friendships with other children within their age brackets. They even learn to be more accommodating and tolerant of other people outside of their families. 🙂
Hi Irene!
Great perspective. So glad to hear you were able to reunite with your siblings. It is kind of strange to me the judgement about large age gaps in children. It shouldn't be an issue in my opinion. You're so right about people having only children and mixed families with step children. Every family is different and beautiful in their own way. My 13 year old son loves to play with his 3 and 6 year old siblings. It helps him enjoy his childhood longer and is so special to watch.
I'm 9 months pregnant with my second child, and our son is almost 7. Like you, I never planned for a gap like this, but it took us years to get pregnant again. My son has asked for years for a little brother and he is so excited, but I'm feeling so many mixed emotions.
Thank you for sharing all of this. I sobbed through reading it, but I really needed the reminder that it's going to be great and they will love each other.
Hi Lindsay! So happy this helped you. I can remember my 7 year old boy being so sad that he wanted a brother or sister and I just couldn't get pregnant. It finally happened and he and his sister have the sweetest relationship. He just turned 13 (she's 6) and they still love each other to pieces. He taught her how to play Fortnite during the pandemic and now she's just as good as him. It's neat to see the common interests they can find with such a large age gap. --Sammy
I have a 10 year age gap with my one brother and another 10 year age gap with my next brother (total 20 years between me and the oldest so you can see my mom started early and ended late. Lol). I can honestly say it was the best thing ever. Especially with my one brother who is 10 years older than me. He was my protector, my confidant, my caretaker, and I looked up to him slot. Still do. I never had to fight over 'toys' because he was already out of playing with them. I never thought about us being in different schools either. We grew up having to be independent and the teachers that might have had him for a student already forgot about him so there was no comparisons (I was a better behaved student then him. Lol). The only draw back is that it is a generational difference at times so we may have had different opinions based on what was important to us at the time. Also, I didn't get to know my older brother growing up as much because he was serving in the military. But we formed a bond later on in life and when he had kids. Coincidentally I was about 10 years older than his first and I got my hand at being my nephew's everything.
Hi Melissa! Love this insight! So excited to see how my kids relationships grow as they go into adulthood. At the time of this comment they are 12, 5, and 3. It is really cool to see my little ones big brother set a good example for them and play with him. I feel like it allows him to be a kid.
I’m currently up at 2am googling “7 year age gap” & come across your article. My girls are 6.5 years apart & every so often, I get sad about their age gap and question how close they will be in the future. I’m currently pregnant with our 3rd girl and this concern about my first two age difference just will not leave me alone. I find myself feeling guilty that my youngest two will be so close in age (2 years apart) but I wasn’t able to provide a sibling that was closer in age for my oldest. It sounds so silly & I blame it on the hormones but I’ve cried about it :’( Your words helped a bit so thank you.
Hi Lexi!
I can totally relate to pregnancy and post-pregnancy hormones. I have cried over the silliest things. I've been through postpartum depression twice, which left me with guilt and anxiety.
At the time of this comment I have a 2 YO Boy, 5 YO Girl, and 12 YO boy. They may not always get along, but they are for the most part, great friends. My son loves that he is the older brother and can show them the ropes. He loves teaching them things and re-experiencing his childhood playing silly games and singing silly songs with them. The little ones idolize him and love following him everywhere, snuggling up with him to watch cartoons, and sticking with him on family hikes.
There are times when they get on his nerves, but I think that's just normal sibling life. Sometimes the little ones aren't getting along and one or the other wants to hang out with their older brother.
I'm sure your 3 will have special magical moments together like this too! Glad this post was able to help! Good luck with your pregnancy.
Sammy
Hi everyone I have 2 monsters and u won’t be able to judge the gap !!!! My elder son turned 13 on 13th May and younger one turned 4 on 21st May 2020.Actually to be honest Initially I never wanted a second baby as all members in my family were working and I was all day drained out both physically and mentally handling my hyper active boy!! Moreover I became mom at very early age so I was weak always tired but slowly I realised that not having siblings does not give a complete upbringing on any child psychologically. That year I lost my Grandma and was surprised to see the impact and the trauma of losing parents and siblings coming to help each other. They are just extended genes right?? So due to both these things I decided to have sibling for my boy!! But destiny has something else planned for me. It took me 2-3 years, so many tests ultrasound and a Laproscopic surgery to have my second boy but believe me enjoying motherhood at this age is so satisfying u really feel that these are priceless moments!!
Hi Mukta,
I can relate to a lot of what your saying. Having little resources is very challenging when you have a child. We also have little resources as far as family who could watch our kids, which makes date night challenging. Bless you for all it took to have your second baby. I too really struggled with infertility, but luckily it was solved with medication. So sorry to hear of the loss of your grandma. Hope all is well now.
Sammy
Great post of pros and cons. It helps me understand what we might be facing. We have tried for 4 years to get pregnant again and finally went through fertility treatments. Our son was a surprise baby and will be turning 8 a month after baby boy #2 is born this fall. I was concerned about the age gap, but reading this post and the comments of others has helped. I am an only child and my husband had a brother two years younger so we don't have much experience with such an age gap.
So happy this post has helped you. Our experience with a large age gap has been so positive!
My oldest son is 21, my daughter is 19. A few years later I had their brother who is now 14. He is so extremely loved by his two older siblings. My daughter is away at college and she FaceTimes with him every night to check up on him. For my 40th birthday I got a HUGE surprise and now have a one year old son. My 3 older kids are over the moon in love with him. My daughter was at my side during labor helping me bring her brother into this world. It’s been AMAZING ❤️
Hi - I was glad to find this Information however I was looking for something to help with having 2 first-born sons. My boys are 7-1/2 years apart. According to birth-order book, 5 years between kids makes another first-born. My sons do not get along at all. They each want to be in charge. Younger son was a surprise and we got older involved as much as possible. However, younger needed 5 days at Childrens hospital so I'm sure I didn't do a great job giving older attention due to fears with newborn. There is great jealousy by the older son. We try to tell him that everything we do for younger we did with him. They are 13 and 5 and I struggle with reprimanding them when they argue. My husband is calmer and trys to avoid conflict. I literally tell the younger to ignore his older brother (who is an instigator). Our home is less than peaceful and we've had the oldest in some form of therapy for over a year now. I'm looking for help with this daily battle. The only peace is when older brother is out at activity or in his room. Doesn't make for great memories. Thanks for listening.
Hey, sorry to hear that things have been tough for you! It sounds like you’ve had a lot of challenges that have made parenting pretty stressful. I hope it gets easier for you. You need support and people you can talk to for help sometimes so I hope you have people like that around you. I have 2 kids close in age and am considering a third child. Hearing your struggles touched my heart. Sending you my love and prayers ♥️ I’m sure your boys know you love them and may even turn out to be very close in years to come! Look after yourself, Kathryn.
Hi Bonita, Sorry for the delayed reply. I just saw your comment. I'm sure your son is just going through some normal teen angst at 13 years old. Make sure he knows he is loved by offering some one on one time and then coming together as a family for family time. Try to find some things your 13 year old really enjoys that your 5 year old would also enjoy. A trip to a favorite theme park or a family friendly movie he loves. Offer positive reinforcement to both of them when they aren't arguing. Something that would be age appropriate. You can check out my positive discipline tips here >> https://sammyapproves.com/positive-parenting-solutions-when-your-kids-wont-listen/
Remember that it's quite possible that your older son is going through a phase. Be patient and know that their relationship might very well change for the better with time. Good luck to you and your family!
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Hi Terri! Just make sure you are planning one on one time with both so the jealousy won't be an issue. I'm sure there are exceptions but the relationship my 14 year old has with his 5 and 8 year old siblings is a beautiful thing to watch. He does need his own time, sure, but he also takes time to play games with them, he helps out a lot with the littles keeping them entertained and loves reliving his childhood favorites with them introducing them to books and cartoons he loved when he was little.
It's interesting seeing people here say that they have a great relationship with their 10+ year gap sibling when I've always observed and experienced the opposite. My brother (11 year gap) and I are practically strangers. We never really bonded. We never had anything in common. Even though we now have a lot in common as adults, he never bothers to talk to me. He just isn't interested in being my brother, sadly. I never played with him because he was bratty and demanding. I was still too immature to have patience with him. Anyways I keep hearing that the 6-7 year gap works like a charm, so you should be fine.
Yes I was almost they same way my older brother and me where never that close when I was younger I always wanted to play with him and his friends and I was probably considered the unwanted tag a long lol. When I got older we had a little more of a relationship where we could talk more but it never stuck over time. I wondering if has anything to do with older siblings personality, I feel like more introverted people have less of a closeness when farther apart in age because the other cases where the brother would be really protective so who knows.
Hi Lily! I'm sure there are different experiences and I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out with your brother. I too have some family members that are difficult to communicate with. However, I think that may be reflective of things they have to work through. Hopefully he will mature in the future so you can have that family relationship.
Hi Sammy,
Thanks very much for sharing extensively your experience with your widely-spaced children. I’ve got two with six years in between. Just like you, I didn’t have a master plan at the start and by the time we were set for a second, it just didn’t happen out so we had to patiently wait for about three years.
Yes, I do get the weird questions about whether it was a choice or we had difficulty conceiving. The uncalled for comments about the children being unable to play together. They DO play together, everyday. While I understand why these come up, I think people somehow ought to realise that not everyone’s life, or in this case, family design would fit into the “societal norm.” I’ve spent a long time wondering why parents who’ve got a seemingly wide gap between their children struggle with the thoughts of their being part of each other’s lives. Of course they will. They’ll always, always have each other no matter what. They’re first individuals, then siblings.
I am the second of four girls. Growing up, my parents decided to go their separate ways at some point and painfully split up the kids too. Two on each side. While there wasn’t a wide age gap between each child, we were physically and emotionally separated for many years! By the time we reunited, all we did was cry. We barely knew each other. Before we knew it, we’d all grown into adults, chosen very different career paths and generally charted our individual courses in life. I chose to use this as an example because I feel someone out there needs to be heavily encouraged that it’s okay to have children spaced out as long as they have all the love from their parents. Shower them with love and let them see how special their brother or sister is. They mustn’t do everything together, attend school together to feel that love, must they? Having them close in age is cool, but if it doesn’t happen that way, would you rather go through life worrying/regretting rather than simply enjoying the uniqueness of each child’s presence?
I really did enjoy spending loads of time with my daughter (the first) while she was a toddler and still do now that she’s seven. I enjoy being an integral part of her life and I love that our home is open to other families too. She spends loads of time amongst kids her age when we organise play dates. That’s something parents can seriously consider. Do it together with other families haha. My son is almost two and I’ve loved how that we’ve been able to invest so much time and attention in him as well. I’d insert another example here. I grew up with the constant pressure of being expected to fit into my elder sister’s shoes. She’s only a year older than me. My mum would inadvertently expect me to be like her in many, no, every way, receive her used and mostly tired clothes and shoes, toys and even her car. I hardly got any new stuff of my own until I was old enough to save up money and actually buy for myself. It was a little difficult identifying who I really was outside of my elder sister’s shadow. No mistake, I love her so very much but these were the realities I had.
Summarily, every child, every family is unique. I believe we raise our unique children to grow up to be independent of us someday. They will also be independent of their siblings, as they choose their spouses and carve out lives for themselves but they will always, always have those siblings no matter how much older or younger they are. Dear parents, please enjoy the ride. Don’t waste any time nurturing the shoulda woulda coulda feelings. Perhaps the decision was or wasn’t really yours to make. It’s okay. Some children have no siblings at all, and shouldn’t be made to feel disadvantaged in my opinion. We can always encourage friendships with other children within their age brackets. They even learn to be more accommodating and tolerant of other people outside of their families. 🙂
Hi Irene!
Great perspective. So glad to hear you were able to reunite with your siblings. It is kind of strange to me the judgement about large age gaps in children. It shouldn't be an issue in my opinion. You're so right about people having only children and mixed families with step children. Every family is different and beautiful in their own way. My 13 year old son loves to play with his 3 and 6 year old siblings. It helps him enjoy his childhood longer and is so special to watch.
I'm 9 months pregnant with my second child, and our son is almost 7. Like you, I never planned for a gap like this, but it took us years to get pregnant again. My son has asked for years for a little brother and he is so excited, but I'm feeling so many mixed emotions.
Thank you for sharing all of this. I sobbed through reading it, but I really needed the reminder that it's going to be great and they will love each other.
Hi Lindsay! So happy this helped you. I can remember my 7 year old boy being so sad that he wanted a brother or sister and I just couldn't get pregnant. It finally happened and he and his sister have the sweetest relationship. He just turned 13 (she's 6) and they still love each other to pieces. He taught her how to play Fortnite during the pandemic and now she's just as good as him. It's neat to see the common interests they can find with such a large age gap. --Sammy
I have a 10 year age gap with my one brother and another 10 year age gap with my next brother (total 20 years between me and the oldest so you can see my mom started early and ended late. Lol). I can honestly say it was the best thing ever. Especially with my one brother who is 10 years older than me. He was my protector, my confidant, my caretaker, and I looked up to him slot. Still do. I never had to fight over 'toys' because he was already out of playing with them. I never thought about us being in different schools either. We grew up having to be independent and the teachers that might have had him for a student already forgot about him so there was no comparisons (I was a better behaved student then him. Lol). The only draw back is that it is a generational difference at times so we may have had different opinions based on what was important to us at the time. Also, I didn't get to know my older brother growing up as much because he was serving in the military. But we formed a bond later on in life and when he had kids. Coincidentally I was about 10 years older than his first and I got my hand at being my nephew's everything.
Hi Melissa! Love this insight! So excited to see how my kids relationships grow as they go into adulthood. At the time of this comment they are 12, 5, and 3. It is really cool to see my little ones big brother set a good example for them and play with him. I feel like it allows him to be a kid.
I’m currently up at 2am googling “7 year age gap” & come across your article. My girls are 6.5 years apart & every so often, I get sad about their age gap and question how close they will be in the future. I’m currently pregnant with our 3rd girl and this concern about my first two age difference just will not leave me alone. I find myself feeling guilty that my youngest two will be so close in age (2 years apart) but I wasn’t able to provide a sibling that was closer in age for my oldest. It sounds so silly & I blame it on the hormones but I’ve cried about it :’( Your words helped a bit so thank you.
Hi Lexi!
I can totally relate to pregnancy and post-pregnancy hormones. I have cried over the silliest things. I've been through postpartum depression twice, which left me with guilt and anxiety.
At the time of this comment I have a 2 YO Boy, 5 YO Girl, and 12 YO boy. They may not always get along, but they are for the most part, great friends. My son loves that he is the older brother and can show them the ropes. He loves teaching them things and re-experiencing his childhood playing silly games and singing silly songs with them. The little ones idolize him and love following him everywhere, snuggling up with him to watch cartoons, and sticking with him on family hikes.
There are times when they get on his nerves, but I think that's just normal sibling life. Sometimes the little ones aren't getting along and one or the other wants to hang out with their older brother.
I'm sure your 3 will have special magical moments together like this too! Glad this post was able to help! Good luck with your pregnancy.
Sammy
Hi everyone I have 2 monsters and u won’t be able to judge the gap !!!! My elder son turned 13 on 13th May and younger one turned 4 on 21st May 2020.Actually to be honest Initially I never wanted a second baby as all members in my family were working and I was all day drained out both physically and mentally handling my hyper active boy!! Moreover I became mom at very early age so I was weak always tired but slowly I realised that not having siblings does not give a complete upbringing on any child psychologically. That year I lost my Grandma and was surprised to see the impact and the trauma of losing parents and siblings coming to help each other. They are just extended genes right?? So due to both these things I decided to have sibling for my boy!! But destiny has something else planned for me. It took me 2-3 years, so many tests ultrasound and a Laproscopic surgery to have my second boy but believe me enjoying motherhood at this age is so satisfying u really feel that these are priceless moments!!
Hi Mukta,
I can relate to a lot of what your saying. Having little resources is very challenging when you have a child. We also have little resources as far as family who could watch our kids, which makes date night challenging. Bless you for all it took to have your second baby. I too really struggled with infertility, but luckily it was solved with medication. So sorry to hear of the loss of your grandma. Hope all is well now.
Sammy
Great post of pros and cons. It helps me understand what we might be facing. We have tried for 4 years to get pregnant again and finally went through fertility treatments. Our son was a surprise baby and will be turning 8 a month after baby boy #2 is born this fall. I was concerned about the age gap, but reading this post and the comments of others has helped. I am an only child and my husband had a brother two years younger so we don't have much experience with such an age gap.
So happy this post has helped you. Our experience with a large age gap has been so positive!
My oldest son is 21, my daughter is 19. A few years later I had their brother who is now 14. He is so extremely loved by his two older siblings. My daughter is away at college and she FaceTimes with him every night to check up on him. For my 40th birthday I got a HUGE surprise and now have a one year old son. My 3 older kids are over the moon in love with him. My daughter was at my side during labor helping me bring her brother into this world. It’s been AMAZING ❤️
Hi - I was glad to find this Information however I was looking for something to help with having 2 first-born sons. My boys are 7-1/2 years apart. According to birth-order book, 5 years between kids makes another first-born. My sons do not get along at all. They each want to be in charge. Younger son was a surprise and we got older involved as much as possible. However, younger needed 5 days at Childrens hospital so I'm sure I didn't do a great job giving older attention due to fears with newborn. There is great jealousy by the older son. We try to tell him that everything we do for younger we did with him. They are 13 and 5 and I struggle with reprimanding them when they argue. My husband is calmer and trys to avoid conflict. I literally tell the younger to ignore his older brother (who is an instigator). Our home is less than peaceful and we've had the oldest in some form of therapy for over a year now. I'm looking for help with this daily battle. The only peace is when older brother is out at activity or in his room. Doesn't make for great memories. Thanks for listening.
Hey, sorry to hear that things have been tough for you! It sounds like you’ve had a lot of challenges that have made parenting pretty stressful. I hope it gets easier for you. You need support and people you can talk to for help sometimes so I hope you have people like that around you. I have 2 kids close in age and am considering a third child. Hearing your struggles touched my heart. Sending you my love and prayers ♥️ I’m sure your boys know you love them and may even turn out to be very close in years to come! Look after yourself, Kathryn.
Hi Bonita, Sorry for the delayed reply. I just saw your comment. I'm sure your son is just going through some normal teen angst at 13 years old. Make sure he knows he is loved by offering some one on one time and then coming together as a family for family time. Try to find some things your 13 year old really enjoys that your 5 year old would also enjoy. A trip to a favorite theme park or a family friendly movie he loves. Offer positive reinforcement to both of them when they aren't arguing. Something that would be age appropriate. You can check out my positive discipline tips here >> https://sammyapproves.com/positive-parenting-solutions-when-your-kids-wont-listen/
Remember that it's quite possible that your older son is going through a phase. Be patient and know that their relationship might very well change for the better with time. Good luck to you and your family!