It can be hard to know how to discipline a child. Even as a pro mom of 3 who is always on the brink of losing her calm.
Yes, even the most experienced mother’s who practice positive parenting strategies can lose their patience and calm at times.
Parenting is hard, but there is room for all of us to improve as parents. Working on becoming a calmer parent has benefits to both parents and children.
Can yelling at a child be harmful?
Yelling a child can be harmful to their emotional well-being.
One child development study found that yelling and using harsh words towards your children could cause depression and anxiety.
This research study concluded that yelling can be just as harmful as hitting or spanking.
Parents may also want to consider the effect yelling and using harsh words may have on their parent-child bond.
How do I control my anger with my child?
Controlling your temper as a parent will help protect your child-parent bond and can strengthen your children’s self confidence and emotional wellness.
Here are some things you can do to keep your cool as a parent:
- Practice Mindfulness– Learn to get more in touch with your emotions. You can do this through yoga, prayer, peaceful meditation, or with help from your therapist.
Being mindful of your emotions can help you to calm down quickly when your kids are acting out. - Step Away- If you’re temper is bordering on the line of losing your cool, take a step away. Ask your spouse to take over, put on some quiet music and tell the kids you need a moment to think.
If can’t leave your kids take them outside for a change of scenery or let the bad behavior go or if your child is older come back and deal with it when you have had some time to calm down and think through a punishment. - Let the small things go– You have to choose your battles with your kids just like you do in a marriage. Don’t lose your temper with your children over a bag of spilled flour on the kitchen floor.
- Keep a sense of humor– Remember that children are naturally curious and playful. They want to explore and have fun, even if that fun sometimes gets them into mischief.
- Positive Parenting– Try out some new positive parenting strategies. There are actually a lot of positive ways to discipline and re-direct our kids that don’t involve losing our temper.
- Reach out for help! – NEVER be afraid to ask for help! Ask a friend, local parenting group, pediatrician, online parents group, or leave a comment on this post. Find a supportive group of like-minded moms who will support you when you are feeling overwhelmed.
You are not alone in this parenting journey!
How can I calm my kids?
As you become a calmer parent you will notice that your kids become more calm and relaxed too.
Our kids feed off of our energy. When we are exuding anger and frustration towards them, they will likely give it right back to us.
This is where yelling and losing our temper can make the problem even worse.
Make steps to a calmer household by:
- Taking action steps to become a more relaxed, calm parent
- Practicing calm and positive parenting strategies
- Being consistent with your kids in a calm and positive way
- Getting on the same page with your spouse and other adults who might discipline your children
- Finding a support system to help you succeed
How can I control my temper with my toddler?
Staying calm with little ones can be more difficult. Toddlers especially can be full of emotions.
Little ones are bursting with energy and life. They are learning new skills and testing new boundaries.
You might be faced with a strong-willed toddler with a spirit that keeps you on your toes from sun-up to sun-down.
Use the strategies above to stay calm for your toddler along with these positive parenting tips for handling toddler tantrums.
Our favorite calm parenting books:
There are always new things to learn that will help us grow into better parents.
Here are some of my favorite books to help you on your journey to become a calm parent.
Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life (The Peaceful Parent Series)Keep Calm and Parent On: A Guilt-Free Approach to Raising Children by Asking More from Them and Doing Less
Calm Parents, Happy Kids: The Secrets of Stress-Free Parenting
Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide (The Positive Parent Series)
No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind
The Positive Parenting Workbook: An Interactive Guide for Strengthening Emotional Connection (The Positive Parent Series)
Positive Discipline: The Classic Guide to Helping Children Develop Self-Discipline, Responsibility, Cooperation, and Problem-Solving Skills
If I Have to Tell You One More Time…: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Remindi ng, or Yelling
Tell me… What parts of parenting are most challenging to you? What pushes you to the brink of losing your temper? What has helped you become a stronger parent? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments below!
Karen Thurm Safran, author of "Parenting-Let's Make a Game of It"
Thanks for writing this post since it’s important but often time hards to remain a calm parent. I like your 6 tips (especially Mindfulness!).
Playfulness has helped me become a stronger parent, and I learned this from my parents. During those frustrating everyday moments when the kids aren’t listening nor cooperating, I create playful games. This makes parenting more fun, empowers my kids, and connects our family. It’s really incredible and helped me as a single stressed out parent, so I wrote an easy-to-read, light-hearted book for busy parents: “Parenting-Let’s Make a Game of It.” I’m so excited because it’s already been a #1 New Release in 7 Amazon categories! Let me know if you’d like a copy. It’s rewarding hearing how it’s sparking people’s playfulness and making them a more calm parent.