Are you adding baby #2 to the family?
Going from life as mom of one to two kids can feel intimidating!
When I got pregnant with baby #2 seven years after my first several thoughts went through my head. How am I going spend enough time both of my kids, make them both feel loved, balance the duties of having an older child and a baby?
I’m sure all of these thoughts and fears are normal of any new mom. Of course, when your new baby is in your arms most of those fears subside and you are suddenly just able to cope with the beautiful changes in motherhood.
This post contains affiliate links. All content is my own.
Making a Smooth Transition from One to Two Kids
The truth is becoming a mom of two is a big change. It takes some getting used to and trial and error before you get back to what feels like a normal balance.
For me, bringing home a new baby felt like starting all over again. My son was 7 years old and to be honest I feel like I had forgotten some of what it was like having a baby.
Now as a mom of two it was a completely different situation all together! Because I’ve been through this experience I wanted to share some helpful tips to ease into this transition.
Prep your older child for the new arrival
Make sure your older child knows that they are important throughout your pregnancy and birth. It is so easy with all the excitement for them to feel left out of the loop. I had an advantage here with my son being a bit older. He was ready and had been ready for a new brother or sister for a long time. Still, even with him, we had to be careful not to make it all about the new baby.
How did we do this? Well, we showered him with more attention than usual. Always letting him know what his role as a big brother would be and how good he was at being a good big brother already.
Here are a few book suggestions to help older siblings through the transition:
Include your older child when New Baby Arrives
This kind of ties into number one. Continue that extra attention after your new child is here. Make your older child feel important in their new role as an older sibling.
Whenever your older child does something positive give lots of praise and positive reinforcement. You might want to try a sticker reward chart for to make them feel special when helping with the baby.
Setting up a date night for your older child is also a great way to make them feel like an important part of the family. Time for them to get one on one interaction with one of their parents on a certain day of the week.
Rely on Family & Friends
Don’t feel bad when your husband, family, or friends offer to help, let them! You can use the time that they offer you for much needed “me time”. Take a shower, read a book, or have a nap.
You deserve this!
I can’t tell you how many times I have felt mom guilt leaving my new baby, with my husband even. Just for a few minutes, even if I am in the next room.
Every time I allowed friends and family to help I came back feeling refreshed and my baby was happy spending some time with people who love her. Relax, Dad is capable of changing that diaper too!
Stressing about Costs?
One of the biggest stresses about having another baby can be the cost. How am I going to afford two children?Luckily there are plenty of ways to save money on diapers, clothes, formula, and even daycare.
If you are taking advantage of coupons, diaper subscription services, and thrift stores you are off to a great start! Having a baby is expensive, but really doesn’t have to be.
Let the small stuff slide
It’s easy to let ourselves feel guilty about every little thing after having a baby. But, this is definitely the time to let the small things slide.
Stressing about a messy house? Please put that stress away and don’t worry about the clutter! Instead spend that quality time bonding with your kids. Your older child needs all the quality time they can get with their momma.
Not worrying about having a sparkling clean home is perfectly acceptable when making such a big transition. In order to make that transition as smooth as possible for your kids, it’s definitely best when mom is not so stressed out.
Get all your errands done on the weekend & order what you can
Going shopping and running errands is hard with a new baby, even harder if you now have two or more kids in tow. Getting shopping done on the weekend was one thing that made this transition easier on me. My husband was home to help, so I wasn’t trying to get everything done by myself.
Ordering what groceries and essentials you need online is also a tremendous help! Amazon is a great go-to resource for new moms. They have everything from groceries, cleaning supplies, and diapers. You can even subscribe for a discount on things like diapers. With a subscription your items come however often you set it to, so you don’t have to worry about restocking.
How has life changed for you as a mother of 2? What tips do you have for easing into life as a mom of 2 or more? I would love to hear from you in the comments below!
My kids are grown now but this resonates with me. You rarely have time for yourself when these kids are growing. Any little time you can muster is gold. make good use of it. Ensure to have some ‘Me’ times. It helps to regain your sanity. I didn’t do that enough while they were growing. I put my needs to the back burner. I thought I was being the perfect mom but it affected me. Now, I don’t joke with my ‘Me’ times.
Thanks Jane! Me time is very important. It doesn’t have to be a big thing either, even an extra long shower gives me a boost!
I was expecting the shock of the first child but actually found that I had leant a lot. Your points are great. so much of it was about managing my toddler and making sure he didn’t feel left out.
You are so right! Making sure your older child feels included is one of the biggest obstacles of having a second child.
We currently only have one but plan on having more so I will have to remember these!
OMG I get SO much of my blogging, shopping and cleaning done on the weekends now because during the week, I am in survival mode. haha Having 2 under 2 is so much harder than I ever thought. These tips are spot on!
Exactly! My hardest weeks are those that I don’t get everything done on the weekend. Then it’s trying to shuffle the kids around town on my own :(